Gooney Gooney Grandpa was what we called my Great Grandfather. He used to make that noise when he bounced us on his knee. “GooneyGooneyGooney.” He’s been gone a long time now and I have only fleeting memories of him. But when I hang the laundry I remember. I remember him passing hand over hand along the line. I recall my four-year-old self handing him the clothes pins with pride. I remember the best bit — stealing a pomegranate from the neighbor’s tree when the task was done.

Most of the rituals of my day go by unseen. Mundane. Hurried. Automated. But there are things that help me stop and notice. Making chai in the red enameled pot. Watering the garden with the stubborn hose. And now this, the slow repeated pattern of hanging clothes on the line. Bend. Pluck. Drape. Pinch. Repeat.

The ritual of hanging laundry is a rite of noticing. I notice that the strappy sundress and denim shorts I hang on the line are much more grown up than my younger daughter’s clothes used to be. Pinned next to each other, my older daughter’s tank top hang as long as mine, a testament to her graceful teenage figure. Drape. Pin. Repeat. I am grateful, so grateful that they have grown this old, have lived this long. (Our first child did not.)

Bend. Pluck.I move on to the cloth napkins, handmade, with our initials embroidered on the corner. I feel virtuous. So green of me, isn’t it? Cloth napkins. Line drying. A laugh wells up inside me. I know I am only virtuous in ways that serve me best. It is only in the places where beauty meets story that I can rally myself to do the right thing. Beautiful napkins held on a storied line, and volia! I am a green crusader.

Pluck. Drape. The delicates wait now in the basket, my stockings flap in the breeze. The different sides of myself come into view. Mother, all napkins and tea towels, and children’s clothes. Lover, fishnets and lacy trimmed panties.

Drape. Pinch. The line is full now and the basket bare. So I return upstairs to my third self. Healer, where I write these words to you.

May beauty, story, and repetition enter your world today. And may it bring comfort to your frazzled soul.
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Rachelle Mee-Chapman is a spiritual director specializing in “care for creative souls”. She works with visual artists, writers, musicians, chefs, and other folks who are unlocking their creative core. Join her Flock or follow her at www.magpie-girl.com.

You can create exactly the kind of spirituality you want. Half this and half that. With a dash of x and a sprinkle of y. You can special order. And once your find the perfect combination, you can (and will) change it again.

If you are a new kind of soul, you recognize this desire. The desire to customize, to blend, to create anew. It’s thrilling. It’s motivating. And it can be overwhelming. When you do this kind of work, when you live this kind of life, you dig up the very ground you stand on. Why?

Because you are mining. You are looking for the buried treasures you want to keep: the traditions your foremothers that you want to pass on; the good habits you’d forgotten that work so well; the bits of your past you want to polish up. They got lost. Lost in the dogma, and the rules, and in the expectations of others. You want to find those valuables, so you mine your past.

Because you are plowing. You are preparing the soil. You are planting the seeds of something new: something that may not bloom when you expect it to; that comes in a mix of unknown colors; that may bear a lot of fruit or a little. You are creating fertile soil for something you are curious about. Something that will bring beauty, or sustenance, or provision into your life.

Mining or Planting – either way things are getting churned up.
Things are getting lumpy. So, how do you stand when you aren’t sure what’s solid ground?

> Start with functionality. What works for you? What creates fruitfulness in your life? Not what’s supposed to be helpful, or what “they” say works. What serves you well? Do that. (Screw the rest.)
Follow Your Muse. You know that impulsive surge that rises up when a new thing strikes you? The brief clarity of an ah-ha moment? That rush of energy that comes with new idea, just before your naysaying voice kicks in? That’s your Muse. She may seem like a flibbertigibbet, especially when viewed through someone else’s lens. But for you, she’s rock solid. She’s the oracle in The Matrix. She’s the Huntress who comes to guide you out of the woods. She knows what you need to create new life – even if it seems wildly impractical. Even if – especially if – no one else is doing it that way. Her ideas don’t feel burdensome—challenging maybe, but not burdensome. That little thing you’ve been dreaming of in your subconscious? She sees it. She’s making sure you see it too. What makes your pulse race and your blood boil? That’s your Muse turning up the heat. Jump in.

> Assume it will Change. We the Dreamers, we are not stagnant people. We look for the growing edge. For the flower slipping free from the bud. People like us do not find a way of be-ing and stick to it. We evolve, and so do our beliefs and practices. Our way of be-ing changes with the seasons, with the decade, with the location. And that’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay. It’s brilliant. Settle into a way of being when it’s time to settle. When you get twitchy, when the things that once worked stop serving you, bounce on your toes – it’s time to change. This doesn’t mean what you were doing before was wrong. It just means you’ve noticed something others might let pass by unseen. And when you notice that little niggling prompt, you alter your ways once again. Life is change, sister. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something.

> Connect the Dots. The way you pray might suddenly convert. The names you call God might change. Your understanding of friendship might grow. Your relational rules might expand or contract. Your career goals might radically alter. The way to keep your footing during these little earthquakes is to connect what you are doing back to your values. Your values are deep rooted. They act as touch stones in your fantastic journey. Feeling lost? Gremlins telling you mean things? Wondering why you can’t just be happy with the status quo? Connect the dots back to your core values and feel yourself come into alignment.

What about you? What custom-fit part of your life are you building? What’s working for you in that process? Where do you need help? Let us know in the comments below. Your Tribe is here for you.
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Rachelle Mee-Chapman is a spiritual director specializing in “care for creative souls”. She works with visual artists, writers, musicians, chefs, and other folks who are unlocking their creative core. Join her Flock or follow her at www.magpie-girl.com.

• > A desire to have a spiritual practice that is genuine and authentic to the person practicing it.
• > A desire to include feminine ways of knowing and creative impulses into that practice.
• > A desire to not feel alone in that practice — to have a soulful tribe.

I believe that being withmates to one another can move us into places where we complete all of these desires.

What is a Withmate?

“Withmate” is the gender-inclusive term I’ve come to use to describe what Margaret Guenther calls a “midwife to the soul.” In Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction, Guenther reminds us that, “The literal meaning of the word [midwife] is ‘with-woman,’ that is, the person who is with the one who is giving birth.” When you expand the metaphor of “birthing” to include giving birth to a new kind of spirituality, the idea of being withmates to one another resonates with possibilities.

What does a Withmate Do?

A withmate…

• > Is present to another in a time of vulnerability, working in areas that are deep and intimate, in a relationship of trust and mutual respect.
• > Does things with, not to the person giving birth.
• > Invites questions and takes time to engage with them.
• > Sees the event she is assisting at as a natural, normative event–not as a ‘crisis of faith’ or a sickness.
• > Notices times of transition and realizes that – even though painful – they are a sign of breakthrough and progress.
• > Encourages another when they feel out of control or that they have failed. Redefines progress, success, and failure in more functional terms.
• > Tells you when to push and when to hold back, when to breathe deeply and when to do something shallow.
• > Rejoices in the arrival of that which was working to get itself born.

What about you?

• > What might get born in your life with more ease and support if you had a withmate?
• > Who has been a withmate to you in the past? What did they do that was helpful?
• > Go on an imaginary journey where you are following a leader. Now go on a journey where you are traveling beside a withmate. What’s different?
• > Who has been a good traveling companion for you? What did s/he do that made them a good withmate?
• > Looking for a withmate? Who can you be a withmate to? (Pay it forward and watch the Universe meet your needs as well.)

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Rachelle Mee-Chapman is a spiritual director specializing in “care for creative souls”. She works with visual artists, writers, musicians, chefs, and other folks who are unlocking their creative core. Join her Flock or follow her at www.magpie-girl.com.

These are my core values. All the jobs that I’ve held, all the causes I’ve been passionate about, all the people I admire have had these 8Things in common.

When I work on projects that are closely connected to these core values, I experience satisfaction, motivation and clarity. When I put my efforts towards things that do not embody these core values, I feel lost, dissatisfied, and just plain old pissy.

Sometimes I wish I had different values. For instance, let’s take “Security.” I need to know where the money is coming from. I need to be sure the rent is covered. I need a steady paycheck. These things used to seem wimpy to me—needy, weak and shallow. Why couldn’t I take more risks? Why couldn’t I be more daring?

Then I realized that being financially secure, being in place of stability and constancy – this allowed me to live in community and to practice hospitality. Security allowed me to work on innovative projects and causes. Security allowed me to be a patron of the arts and to support beauty. Of course some people do all of those things without financial or relational security. But me, I need that value to feed all the other values-based work I engage in. One feeds the other.

When you feel lost. When you feel crabby. When your faith no longer fits – look to your core values. Don’t know what yours are? Try one of these exercises.

> Your Resume: Think back on all the jobs (paid or voluntary) that you’ve held. (Don’t forget parenting!) Which parts of those jobs were energizing to you? What values did those tasks encompass? What parts did you dislike? What values were missing from those tasks?

> Models and Mentors: Who are your role models and mentors? What character traits to do you admire most about them? What values do those traits reflect?

> The Funeral: If someone was describing you at your memorial, what adjectives would you like them to describe you?

> Then and Now: As you look for your core values, remember that they flux somewhat over the course of your life. Some rise to the top. Others fade into the distance. What did you once hold in high value that now carries less importance to you? What has come to live in its place? (Example: When I was younger I valued obedience. Now I value self-authority.)

As you do these exercises, see if you can narrow your list down to 8 core values. It helps to have a small enough number that you can rattle them off by heart. Then narrow it down to 3 super-core values. As you create your custom fit faith, as you curate your belief system, make sure the things you give your time to represent those 3 core values. And look for the other 5 in as many aspects of your life as possible.

What about you? What are your core values? Which of them are you living-out regularly in your life? Which aren’t getting enough attention?
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Rachelle Mee-Chapman is a spiritual director specializing in “care for creative souls”. She works with visual artists, writers, musicians, chefs, and other folks who are unlocking their creative core. Join her Flock or follow her at www.magpie-girl.com.